


hundreds-and-thousands (of heartbeats for you)

by no_big_deal



Series: Near Reylo, Near Perfect [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breast Worship, Come Eating, Come Marking, Come Shot, Domestic Fluff, Dry Humping, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fooling around on the couch, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Insecurity, Mutual Pining, No Babies, No Pregnancy, Overstimulation, Rey does a lot of emotional labor, Rey's Tinder date insults her appearance, Rey's boss is not helpful, domestic ben solo, doughnuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:49:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_big_deal/pseuds/no_big_deal
Summary: Rey dropped her doughnut first thing this morning and the day's just gone downhill from there--until a conversation with her gorgeous roommate Ben Solo turns things around--with sprinkles on top.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Near Reylo, Near Perfect [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144415
Comments: 55
Kudos: 250
Collections: ReylOlds





	hundreds-and-thousands (of heartbeats for you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NoeticEdda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoeticEdda/gifts).



> Thanks to [Denzer ](https://twitter.com/DenzerWriter) for the beta!
> 
> This silly fic is a gift to Em for just being the best, most patient, supportive, funny, and cool person. Thanks for being you!

"Rey!" screeched Amilyn Holdo, stalking down the hall towards Rey's office. "I need you to get it together!" 

It had been a long week. Rey loved her job at the legal aid firm, but sometimes, her clients were just unrealistically _unfair._ Rey pasted a smile on her face, ready to take her boss’ criticism agreeably, swallowing down the thought that she was just not good enough.

After a short rant about _meeting expectations,_ Amilyn relented and gently patted Rey's arm. “Take it easy over the weekend,” she said encouragingly. “Come back and try again on Monday.”

So what other choice did Rey have?

She pulled out her phone. The guy she’d been chatting with on Tinder, Beau, had offered to buy her a drink for their first in person meeting. Though she was tired and feeling low after Holdo's scolding, the bar he’d suggested was close by and she _desperately_ craved a glass of wine. So she sucked it up and kept the date. 

Walking into The Backyard Cantina, she quickly found Beau—at least the pictures he’d put on his profile were recent and accurate—and she ordered a large glass of the house red. 

Things seemed okay at first. Beau had obviously been at the bar for a while and had put a few back already. He was a high-energy, loud-talking guy which normally Rey could appreciate though, right now, it grated a little. It wasn’t his fault she was tired, she told herself, and kept chatting. 

But when he turned to her and said, “From your profile picture, I thought your boobs would be bigger,” much to her shame, she didn’t really react. She just sort of laughed and sat there for the ten minutes it took to finish her wine. When there was a natural break in the conversation, she got up, paid, and left. She pushed the feelings of inadequacy aside and blocked his profile as she walked back to her car. 

It would be a relief to get home. 

Perversely, she hoped Ben was out. Her gorgeous, understanding roommate would go out of his way to be nice and solicitous if he knew she wasn't feeling well, and it was really unbearable to be the focus of such caring concern when all she wanted to do was kiss him and then that would ruin everything. 

From the moment she'd seen him, she'd fallen hard for that gorgeous man, literally built like corn-fed Renaissance statuary. His looks had caught her eye, but behind his intense demeanor, he was truly kind. He'd gone out of his way to be so sweet to her—so helpful when she'd moved in six months ago, happily carrying her mattress and books up the stairs. Every so often, he'd bring home some of her favorite British snacks and sweets only available at a shop near his office. He always gave her a special smile, his plush lips curving gently, when she came home from a rough day.

But he'd also made it very clear that he only saw her as a friend. One evening, just a couple of weeks after she'd moved in, she'd come home early and heard him on the phone, insisting—most vociferously—that _he and Rey were just friends and that's all they ever would be._ She'd snuck into her room, closing her door quietly, her heart breaking in two. 

Since then she'd been very careful not to get too personal with Ben, not casually touching or flirtatiously joking when she otherwise might. It would have been unwelcome and she didn't want to do anything that made him uncomfortable.

So maybe he'd gone out. While Ben stayed in on the weekends often enough, there was a club at a nearby casino he and Hux liked to frequent, where they could smoke cigars and drink scotch. He left the apartment looking like a million bucks in a suit and tie and came back looking a little rumpled but relaxed, his tie loose around his neck and a bar tab Rey would bet equalled his share of the rent. 

He never brought dates home though, which at first Rey thought was odd. A guy like him, tall, dark, and handsome, educated and polite, shouldn’t have had any problem banging anyone he laid eyes on. She had started to think that maybe the class of person he wanted to date might not appreciate the very average South Hill apartment he shared with her. 

She tried not to think about that too often. 

She had opened the door to the apartment and shrugged off her coat when Ben walked into the living room. He carried the Hoover, his longish hair pulled back into the half man-bun he favored for when he did chores on the weekends. Not his normal look for a Friday night. 

“What’s up?” she asked, admiring the cut of his cheekbones, accentuated by his pulled-back hairstyle. He turned to her, a barely contained look of alarm on his face.

“Don’t panic,” he said, pulling the cord on the vacuum. “But I think we have mice.”

Rey did not panic. Rey had lived in a great deal of unsavory places in her younger years and mice were by far _not_ the worst vermin with which she had cohabitated. With her lived experience she sincerely doubted this apartment _had_ mice, but Ben didn't appear to be joking, and he looked so adorably earnest. 

She widened her eyes, obligingly. “What makes you think that?”

Ben gestured down at the carpet between the coffee table and the sofa. “Mouse poop.” 

She moved in to take a look.

Sure as shit there on the floor were four or five little pellets, no wider than a pencil lead, no longer than a centimeter. She stared at them for a moment before recognition dawned. Guilt weighed down on Rey’s shoulders and she sighed.

“We don’t have a mouse problem,” she said, picking up the small pieces.

“Rey,” Ben positively shrieked, “don’t _touch_ it, what are you doing—” 

But it was already done. She stood and walked into the kitchen, wiping her hands over the trash before turning to wash them in the sink. Behind her, Ben appeared in the doorway.

“Rey, what’s going on?” He sounded apologetic. “I should have just vacuumed it up, you didn’t need to do that.”

She dried her hands on the fluffy kitchen towel. It was white with an accent of multi-colored stripes, a gift from Leia. She kept her fingers intertwined in it and her eyes lowered. 

“It wasn’t mouse poop Ben,” she sighed. “It was chocolate.”

“What?” His caramel brown eyes narrowed in confusion. 

“Sugar strands.” At his blank look, she continued. “Chocolate sprinkles, you know. The girl at Donut Parade calls them _nonpareils.”_

“But—”

There was nothing for it but to make a full confession. “I brought home a leftover doughnut from the office yesterday,” she began. “It had icing on top. And chocolate sprinkles. I got it out this morning for breakfast. But I dropped it. It landed right side up, but I didn’t even look to see if any sprinkles rolled off. It didn’t even occur to me. I’m sorry—”

“Hey, no worries,” Ben interrupted, sounding relieved. “Chocolate. I see it now. _Whew,”_ he laughed awkwardly and mimed wiping sweat from his brow.

“I’m sorry to have worried you,” Rey said sheepishly. 

“I’m sorry you didn’t get your breakfast this morning,” Ben rejoined cheerfully.

Rey blushed, clenching the towel a little tighter. If a hole could open up beneath her feet, swallow her, and spare her from a lifetime of miserable humiliation, now would be the perfect time for it to happen.

How could she admit that she’d eaten the doughnut anyway? Hadn’t she told him— it had landed _right side up?_ She shrugged and crossed her arms.

“Oh,” he said, taken aback. “I didn’t mean to—” he cleared his throat. “Of course. I’ll just go finish vacuuming—”

“Please don’t,” she snapped, sounding harsher than she meant to. “Just leave it, I can clean up after myself—”

“Rey,” his voice softened as he stepped closer to her. “I just want to help.”

She shook her head resolutely. “I appreciate that, I really do, but it’s not your responsibility to pick up after your incompetent, small-breasted, _slob_ of a roommate—”

“Hey now,” he interrupted. “What?”

“If you want to help you can move the coffee table to the side but _please_ do not run the Hoover for me,” she insisted as she turned and ran to her room. 

She flung herself on her bed but refused to let the tears fall. She gave herself ten seconds to _get it together_ before she took three cleansing breaths, fisted her hands, and got back up. 

Quickly changing from her work clothes into a comfy pair of yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt that had a tendency to fall off one shoulder, she made her way back into the kitchen. Ben wasn’t there. 

A pile of their mail lay on the kitchen table, mostly junk and local ads. One of the larger pages was a classified ad listing apartments for rent and she lifted it from the pile. 

She should move, suggested a dark part of her mind. Live alone, let this ridiculous dream of Ben Solo go. Stop embarrassing yourself in front of him. 

With the promotion he’d gotten two months ago, he was making _bank._ Like, able to pay off his student loans in the next twenty four months sort of money. He could afford a townhouse or a condo. Some nicer place. He deserved one, certainly. Then maybe he wouldn't be too embarrassed to bring a date home.

There were places she could afford too. One bedrooms that weren’t in the worst neighborhoods were within her reach if she stuck to her budget. She could do that. There were only a few months left on her lease with Ben. She should tell him soon. 

The thought of having _that_ conversation did cause some tears to fall. Setting down the circular, she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Time to clean the carpet and stop being a slob. Time to invest in a good push-up bra, maybe. Time to start _enjoying her weekend_ so she could try and be better at her job on Monday. 

Turning, she saw Ben standing in the doorway, watching her, his eyes wide and liquid. He opened his mouth to speak and then licked his lips as she wrung her hands.

“Were you looking at—?” he began.

She nodded. “Yeah. The apartment listings. There’s quite a few available right now,” she added, rubbing her fingers against the countertop. “Renters market.”

“Yeah, b-but—Why? I mean, this place is alright, isn’t it?”

She looked up at him blankly.

“Don’t you like it?” he asked, his voice breaking somewhat on the last word.

“I do,” she replied slowly. “I like it so, so much. But you…” She suddenly found she couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. His face was _doing things_ and her heart dropped painfully into her stomach. “You deserve a better place, you can certainly afford one.” 

“Why—why are you talking like this?” He took a quick step into the kitchen. “Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, no, of course not.” She didn’t know how to explain. “I had a bad day at work and then a bad date afterwards, that’s all. And then, of course, the doughnut thing.”

He nodded, slowly. “I know what it's like to have a bad time at the office. It sucks,” he sympathized. 

“Thanks,” she murmured.

“And don’t worry about the sprinkles,” he said, taking another step towards her. “It’s pretty funny. I’m sure someday we’ll look back at this and laugh.”

“Sure,” she agreed softly, not really believing it. There wouldn't be a _someday_ for her and Ben. 

Rey was not surprised he'd skipped mentioning her date. He _never_ asked how it went when she went out with a guy; his lack of interest in her love life painfully reminded her there wasn’t anything meaningful between them and there never would be. She rubbed her arms. 

“Guess I’ll go run the Hoover, thanks Ben.” She moved to step around him. 

As she passed, his voice, low and barely audible over the hum of the refrigerator, stopped her. “I’m sorry the date was bad.”

She turned to look at him. His shoulders were slightly hunched, fists clenched. Most of his hair was still up in the bun, exposing the tight tendons of his neck.

“It’s alright,” she said to his back. She kept her tone even, not wanting to make a big deal about it or—heaven forbid—get into the details. “He just wasn’t very gentlemanly—”

Ben turned to face her, his large hands slowly moving to encase her upper arms, his honey-dark eyes roaming her face. “He didn’t—didn’t hurt you—Rey?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” she squeaked, dizzy with the emotional vertigo of this conversation and Ben's sudden nearness. “He just wasn’t very complimentary about my… appearance.” She swallowed. “No big deal.” 

His eyes narrowed. “About your..?” He trailed off, the wheels of his brain turning almost visibly. “Is that why earlier you said..?” Rey winced; it was obvious the moment he figured it out. She was an idiot. His fingers tightened around her arms as his eyes bounced down to her chest and then back up. “He said you had small—” 

“I'm begging you, please don't finish that sentence.” Fresh tears streaked her cheeks. 

It was bewildering; the set of Ben's jaw promised someone a slow, painful death, but his hands were holding her gently like she was precious and delicate. Without even realizing how they got there, her fingers were moving on Ben’s chest, tangling in his t-shirt, and pulling. His face was so close now, but she didn't understand why she couldn't keep her eyes off his mouth. She felt a burn in her calves from standing on her toes and a sizzle through her belly from his body heat but she was shivering. She didn't understand anything anymore. 

But when he leaned the final inch down to kiss her, she certainly didn't stop him to ask for clarification. She kissed him back.

She could live with confusion for a while longer, so long as his lips pushed hers apart and his tongue kept twisting between her teeth. One of his hands came up to caress her neck and his thumb pulled down on her chin, loosening her jaw. He took the opening and his tongue thrust deep inside her mouth even as his lips devoured her. 

As they kissed, loud and wet, his other hand snaked down her back, grabbing her ass, and she jumped, locking her legs around his middle. She clung to his shoulders, melting into him as he supported her weight with one arm. 

He walked them into the living room, bumping through the kitchen door as he moaned into her mouth. Once there, he laid her on the couch, pinning her under him as his hands began to wander.

Without any fanfare, he pulled her sweatshirt up and over her head; his chest heaved as he took a long look, his eyes wide with reverence. She wasn't wearing a bra, of course, and she wondered what he'd expected.

“You are so gorgeous,” he whispered, framing her breasts with his hands and licking them from top to bottom with the full flat of his tongue, one after the other. Rey’s cries of delight stuttered out of her chest like birds escaping from a cage. 

“Delicious,” he murmured, squeezing her soft flesh between his thumb and fingers. “I’ll never get enough of this.” He pulled her closer to him and continued to swipe his rough tongue over her tits, nuzzling the valley between, and she groaned as pleasure made her head heavy with _need._

Taking the tip of her nipple into his mouth, he teased her, barely sucking, flicking it repeatedly with his tongue until it glistened, pink and raw. Rey’s hands found their way into Ben’s hair and she held him close as wordless whimpers escaped her mouth. Her legs began to twitch. 

“Ben,” she begged, rolling her hips. “More, please.”

He hummed, “But I’m not done with these yet.” Smiling, he pulled her entire areola between his teeth, lightly scraping against the tender flesh. “These flawless tits.” 

She squealed uncontrollably; she had never made noises like this before, not for _anyone_ and she was sure she never would again. Just a few minutes of Ben Solo licking her tits had ruined her for all other men. He continued to nibble, leaving little purple marks across her chest. The breast not under his tongue he massaged with thick fingertips, rolling her in his palm. 

Delirious, she squirmed beneath him, her legs open, hoping he’d take the hint. With a grunt, he shifted to slot one thigh between hers, the denim of his jeans scraping roughly against her pussy, covered only by threadbare yoga pants. She wailed in relief as she rocked against him.

“So fucking responsive,” Ben muttered as Rey twitched and writhed. He moved his lips to her other breast. Sucking on it, he drew the entire orb deep into his mouth. Rey nearly passed out feeling his lips stretch against her skin, enveloping her completely. 

Unexpectedly, he pinched her, firmly tweaking her nipple, already hardened and red. She yelped, but grabbed his wrist to keep his fingers right where they were. 

“Again,” she demanded, greedy with want. She lost herself to it, shameless with desire for him, beyond reason. 

Ben rolled his hips forward and she moaned, distracted, as he licked at both her breasts before pinching her nipple again, a firm, insistent press of his fingertips that sent a riot of stinging pleasure throughout her body. She sobbed with the bliss of it as his hot and wicked tongue slid smoothly against her skin.

He moved his thigh against her. “Can you come like this, sweetheart? Come for me?” 

She nodded, squirming beneath him, knowing she was close. She could feel her desire for him, her wetness soaking through her sweats and onto his jeans.

“Yes, yes, _yes,”_ she chanted, clenching her thigh muscles and giving herself over to the moment. One final drag of her clit down his thigh and she flew apart. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she came, her mouth falling open as Ben continued to squeeze her tits and kiss every inch of her he could reach. 

When she came back to earth from the high of her climax, Ben held her, kissing her shoulder, nuzzling his nose into her hair. She felt warm and content. When she hummed happily after he'd kissed her neck, he pulled back to look at her.

“Rey,” he began, sounding unsteady. “I hope it’s okay—” 

“Ben, what are you talking about, _okay,_ that was incredible—” She moved her hands to the waist of his pants, trying to anticipate what he was obviously saying. “Did you... need some more..? I can—” Feeling his cock, hard and long beneath her hand gave her pause even as she felt her mouth water. “I could—”

Groaning, Ben grasped her fingers, pulling them away. “Rey, if you don’t stop doing that, I will come in my pants and I’d rather not.”

Chastened, Rey allowed him to move her hands from out beneath him as he shifted his hips towards the back of the couch and off her. Still, she lay flat on the couch, cradled in his arms; his thumbs gently stroked her wrists. She cleared her mind, or tried to, remembering what he’d last said.

“You said you hoped this was okay, and it was Ben, it felt great.”

“Not— not okay _physically.”_ He swallowed; it looked as if his tongue was searching for the right words inside his mouth. “What I mean is, I hope it is okay with you that I acted on my feelings. Without talking to you first.”

She stared at him, confused. “Your feelings?”

“I didn't ask for permission to—” he gestured at her naked breasts. “Or declare my intentions—”

_“Declare your intentions?”_

“This wasn't just fooling around for me, Rey,” Ben growled, his voice rising. “I'm trying to say I’m in love with you.”

Everything went silent. Rey’s brain had difficulty processing his words. She gaped at him.

“Don’t feel like you have to say anything,” he added, hurriedly. “I just had to tell you. Be honest with you.” He blushed to the tips of his ears, exposed by the portion of hair he still had pulled back. “And this isn't just about you looking at the classified ads either. I've been wanting to say something for a long time.”

Rey shook her head. “I thought we’d only ever be friends.”

 _“Me too._ You are so far out of my league and I figured, maybe after we got to know each other I might have a chance, but you kept going on dates… And I can take a hint, I can, so—”

Rey cut him off with a kiss, scraping at his upper lip and chin with her teeth, frustration and desire making her messy. She yanked her hands free from where Ben held them and moved to the button on his jeans, wrenching them open and digging under his briefs to palm his shaft with her hand. She groaned, feeling the size of him; he shuddered above her, his body curving away from her even as he thrust into her grasp. 

“Rey I told you—” his words were clipped, through gritted teeth. 

“Then don't come in your pants,” she said, pushing his jeans down his thighs. “Come on me.”

 _“Fuck.”_ Ben's face contorted with agony and arousal as Rey freed his cock and wrapped both hands around it, one on top of the other. She rubbed her thumb over the slit, spreading precome down the shaft and she pumped at him, and nodded up at him, encouraging him to thrust. 

Hot and heavy in her hands, Ben’s cock slid through her fingers like a promise of things to come. He was gorgeous like this, hair falling out of place, his eyes never leaving hers, biting his lower lip as he slammed forward into her hands. 

“This won't last long—” he grunted, hips snapping sharply above her.

“Yes baby, _yes,”_ she encouraged as she gently twisted her wrists, varying the patterns of friction. It worked as she intended as Ben released a deep and primal groan.

“Rey, I'm— I'm gonna—”

Lying on her back, Rey could barely see the spurts of come as they landed on her chest, warm and thick. Some landed on her nipples, stiff where Ben's saliva had dried cold, and the contrast was seductive; his come melted her body back to the sultry and supple thing she knew it would be when in his care. 

She wiggled with pleasure. “Fuck, that was so hot.” She released him gently, her fingers slightly sticking to the tender skin of his shaft, and he moaned, little _ah-ah-ahs_ that spoke to his bodily sensitivity. He looked down on her with hungry eyes.

“You're a mess,” he breathed. 

She giggled. “Just hand me the sweatshirt, it's okay—” but he cut her off with a shake of his head. 

“Your breasts look pretty like this too,” he said, running his fingers through his spend, circling her nipples with it. She gasped as he swirled the soft, sticky fluid around her torso in a figure eight, pressing it into her skin. His fingers were slippery and she felt so soft and lush with his warm come on her tits. “You’re always beautiful Rey, but this is—” He dragged his fingers down her sternum and then brought them to her lips. “I’ve wanted you for so long. So bad.” 

She didn’t hesitate to open for him, licking and sucking at his two fingers, taking them as far into her mouth as she could. Groaning, she ran her tongue between his fingers as she held them between her teeth, gratified to hear Ben’s hiss of pleasure when she swallowed. 

Slowly, he slid his hand from her mouth and brushed her hair from her face. “Time to clean you up.” He kissed her, his tongue sweeping over hers and back up the roof of her mouth.

“Now the sweatshirt?” she asked, when he pulled away, both panting hard, breathless from their kiss. He shook his head and his nose nuzzled her cheek before he quickly kissed his way down her neck and back to her breasts. He licked her tits again, like he had before, with the wide flat of his tongue, holding them firmly in his hands.

She arched off the couch with a wail, the firm press of his tongue warming the soft squelch of come drying on her nipples. 

“Ben, that’s—” was all she could articulate before he did it again, licking her other side clean. She felt her cunt tingle; instinctively, her hand dropped to her crotch to hold her pussy tight. Even through her pants, her clit throbbed beneath her fingers. It felt like the downhill slope of a rollercoaster, how quickly she was careening towards climax again. Everything about him was so excruciatingly hot, she couldn’t believe this was really happening. 

“You’re licking your come off my tits,” she gasped, light-headed, rubbing herself. Ben nodded as he sucked her breast between his lips, working it completely inside his mouth, suckling it deep.

Moaning and whining, she pressed down frantically on her clit as Ben fondled and kissed and nibbled at her aching skin.

“Let me hear you, baby,” Ben growled into her skin, his teeth sinking closed around her nipple, already tingling unbearably and ultrasensitive to every touch. 

She let go with a scream. Her orgasm thundered through her, stampeding up her spine and overloading her brain. Warmth radiated from her cunt out through her body. Her nipples were raw and tender; his breath was enough to set them to throbbing. Her vision blurred around the edges; she convulsed with ecstasy, weeping Ben's name. 

This time, when she returned to her senses, Ben was pulling himself up and off the couch, disappearing down the hall. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand as a couple giddy giggles bubbled up her throat. Ben _loved_ her, he _wanted_ her. 

She greeted him with a wide, satisfied smile when he returned. He held a warm washcloth, which he lay on her breasts to gently wipe them clean. She watched as he focused on his work, careful not to miss a spot or press too hard on her bright pink skin. 

When he finished, he dried her with a fluffy towel and then wrapped her up in her sweatshirt, before laying down behind her on the couch, spooning her close. 

“I could get used to this,” she mumbled, turning to look up at him. 

“I’d like that.” He stroked her arm; with a slow roll of desire she saw how she was so dainty under his large hands. Hungrily, she looked up at him through her lashes. There was so much more she wanted to do with him. 

He swallowed, a nervous expression flitting across his face. “I’ve dreamed of this. Being with you. However you'll have me.”

It felt so good, so freeing, to finally speak from the heart. “Ben, I love you. I’ve been in love with you for months—” 

Dazzled and caught off guard by his wide, expressive smile, all she could do was smile back. Her fingers came up to play with the tips of his hair. 

“I love you,” she repeated, a hushed little whisper, and she tangled her legs with his. 

🍩💕🍩💕🍩

That weekend she used the classified ads to clean the mirror in the bathroom and then deleted Tinder off her phone. 

On Monday, Holdo asked how she was doing; Rey smiled and nodded confidently. Her mind felt sharp, buzzing with positive energy, and her body tingled in all the right places. 

That morning, Ben had bought her breakfast—coffee and a doughnut covered with chocolate sprinkles—after a weekend in his bed had left her loose and loved and very, very sore.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi, I'm [ @spoonfulofsalad ](https://www.twitter.com/spoonfulofsalad) on Twitter!


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